The most important relationship you can have is with the most important person in your life – the one person who will never, ever leave you. This relationship is with yourself. The relationship you have with yourself is much more important than any other relationship because how you relate with yourself determines how you will relate with the world and others.
There is a relationship that needs to happen with our past. We all have a past and most of us have tried to avoid that relationship in order to forget what has happened to us. For example, maybe some of us have blocked out our childhood because there are painful memories. It’s important to acknowledge the things you have been through because that is what makes you, you. In order to build a relationship with yourself, you must be aware of everything about yourself and ultimately, learn to forgive and love those experiences.
The Science of Mind says our greatest needs are to feel that we are wanted, needed and loved and to feel that we belong to the universe in which we love. The need to feel needed and wanted is deeply embedded within us because it shapes who we are and how we make decisions on how we live. It’s our desire to be connected and know we are welcome in the world that is so important. This is where self care, self love and self respect come in.
The first step to self love, care and respect is to think about those places in your life where you might need forgiveness. Forgiveness is about understanding where our habits and experiences come from. These might be positive, negative or neutral. When I was younger, I used to say “well that’s just how I am, I guess I’ll never change.” One time, my uncle responded to that by saying that was not true. I could be whoever I wanted to be if I wanted to put in the work. I am who I choose to be. This mentality can shape how we behave in several situations.
One way to practice forgiveness is with affirmations. Claim yourself as an expression of the divine. All you have to say is, “I accept you Dr. Bob; I bless you Dr. Bob.” Or, if you have to forgive others, say it to them. Once you say this over and over again, you will begin to feel the peace flow through you.
Another key to self love and self care is to own your stories. Again, these stories may be good, bad or even boring, but once you own your story, you will be able to love yourself for all that you are. We’re always looking for ways to grow and one of the best ways to do so is to come to an understanding of our own stories.
And lastly, another aspect to self love is self talk. You would be surprised by the way that people talk to themselves – you may be guilty of it too. You might say “you can never do that” or “I shouldn’t have done that.” More than likely, we would not say those things to others, so why do we say them to ourselves? Next time, try replacing those words with reassuring words. For instance, instead of “I can’t” say “I can if I choose to.” Because the truth is, you are nothing less than wonderful and there is no wrong way of doing life. That is exactly why life doesn’t have a manual. We are all on our own paths and there is no right or wrong path.
As Henry Ford once said, “whether you think you can or you can’t – either way you are right.” You can do anything you choose to!
I hope that we can all build better relationships with ourselves. I challenge you to remind yourself of these affirmations!